Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
