so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
