Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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