Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
