Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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