I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize