exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
