I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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