Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
