How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
