You smell like stripper and shame
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
