i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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