Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
