how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We are two peas in an std pod
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
