I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
