I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
