how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
