My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
