And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
