haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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