Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
