loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
