Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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