i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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