so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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