Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
