Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
