Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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