It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
