And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
