don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
