apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
