found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
