happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
