whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
