he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
