Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
