Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
