If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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