she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
