We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
