sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
well I can't set my house on fire every night
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
