so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
