$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
