talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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