Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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