Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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