I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
