I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
