I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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