He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
