It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
